18 comments on “Congratulations, passives, you make me ashamed to be autistic.

  1. Br0, you should start a Black Panther-like group for our people, I would so sign up the second it is founded! Plus, is it true that, if every Aspie/Autie on Earth died tomorrow, the curebies would be soooo f___in’ done?

  2. This is emotionally abusive horseshit. Alyssa has nothing to do with your actions. You are responsible for your own reactions and your own feelings, and to attempt to manipulate other people to force them to agree with you is appallingly egregious behavior. You are a manipulative abuser. This post proves it. Trying to hold this over people’s head to force them to agree with you is disgusting.

    • Every now and again, I like to grab someone who is missing the point, flinging bullshit at me, or twisting my words to their benefit, and verbally assault them until they beg for it to stop. That is, in the real world. Here, all I can really hope to do is show you up for the ignorant little asshole that you are.

      This post is not a spur of the moment thing. Far from it. It is, in fact, the culmination of years of trying to voice objections to the rest of the autistic “community”, and going unheard. If you would bother to read just this journal back far enough, you would see months and dozens of writings about the level of disgust felt towards the puzzle piece and separationist language that has been directed at people who still will not listen when valid and forceful objections are made to the use of both. Alyssa is a big girl and has been writing for long enough on the subject to know that when you make a person who has been wishing the lump in their face would just separate into their brain and take them out already feel unheard to this extent, they are going to respond in an ugly fashion. Trying to accuse me of bullying when every action I have made for the last eight years has been in response to neglect or bullying says quite a lot about your character and ability to tolerate other points of view within the autistic community. Not one bit of it good. Since I cannot rid my world of every person like you, ridding myself of that world seems like the best option. If that prospect offends you, tough shit.

  3. I agree… the puzzle piece SHOULD NOT be taken back! I work for a foundation and starting one of my own, and when designing logos I told graphic designers that there is to be NO INKLING of that dreadful puzzle piece! YUCK!

    But seriously do not kill yourself over this… you need to be here to write posts like this for the future! YOUR VOICE MATTERS! Unsure if you were writing that just for rhetorical purposes, but PLEASE PLEASE if you were serious- reconsider!!!!! Please…

    • If there were a future in which I was allowed to live my life with the same choices and supports as I see every other person around me taking for granted, then I would stop to think about it for a second. But the truth is, after years of pleading, screaming, and crying at no less a “support” than Tony Attwood that things in the actual, real world need to be done, I have honestly had enough. If you told a child that was sick from ketoacidosis that they could be healed if they just held on for long enough, they would end up welcoming death with open arms in spite of how painful the process was. This only differs in the sense that it is working on the mind rather than the body.

      I have never written ideas concerning what to do just for the sake of saying it. I truly believe there should be a world where normies are shit-scared to hurt anyone autistic for fear of being shot and killed. I truly believe there should be a world where Suzanne Wright is tried for crimes against Humanity. But in the absence of that, a world without me is just fine as far as I am concerned.

  4. I do hope that the bit about the mattress at the end is hyperbole to make a point. Point made. As a “normie” who worked in special ed and fought the ABA therapists and found ways to navigate the system to keep my students whole, inside and out, this resonates with me. As a friend to a surprising number of people on the spectrum, this resonates with me. As a mother and a lover, it resonates with me.

    I hate the puzzle piece, too.

    I was never able to put words to it, to articulate it, but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head: autistic people are not puzzles to be solved; there is no curing autism, NOR SHOULD THERE BE. The problem isn’t with autism, it’s with the world outside.

    I would encourage you, please, to reconsider your mattress-and-pill approach. We need people like you to continue speaking out, louder and louder still, to advocate for yourselves. You have supporters amongst the “normies.” You’re not alone.

    • It is not. As I would explain to people in a face to face setting, there are all kinds of people in this world. And the number of times I have had to try to explain, often without success, why this or that normie-invented thing is not a good thing for us to use, has driven me to absolute despair. When I was a child or an adolescent, not getting heard seemed to be the expected norm, even when I was being abused or assaulted. So to continue to be told things that cause me emotional distress are what I should rally behind has just absolutely exceeded the limits of my endurance.

      There is also a pervasive feeling of being alone. Ever since diagnosis, I have been making cries for help of varying kinds, most of them very specific, and being told nothing is possible, and I should just crawl in a hole and die. But when I do, I want it to mean something. I want disability in this country, especially the Northeastern state, to be told how ashamed of themselves they should be. I cannot accomplish that whilst I am alive.

  5. Reading your blog for the first time. I am so sorry. Sorry that your voice is going unheard. Sorry that your country’s policies are so unsupportive. Sorry that the global autism community is so fragmented, that those who should be sustaining you are driving you to despair. Please, step back from the edge. Some people hear, listen and learn. I used to have one of those puzzle ribbon magnets on my car, until a friend explained how and why it was offensive. It was removed that instant and this family does not and will not use or encourage the use of the image. Please – you have so much the world needs – so much that will one day come to you – don’t allow the callous actions of some determine your future. Please, give this tired old world another chance. You don’t know me; I don’t know you, but I am here. Talk to me. Talk to someone, (and I don’t mean a pharmacist about increasing your stockpile 😉 )
    Seriously, they don’t get to win. Love & tears from Canada

    • The basic problem from my point of view is that no matter who I talk to, no matter how much I throw myself at other peoples’ mercy, I always get the same thing. I am not good enough to lead a productive life, I am not good enough to be allowed to do what needs to be done so that I can lead a productive life, and on and on it goes. Given that my birthday present basically consisted of being moved into a shitty house that made my neuro-wiring go berserk whilst being denied real access to the Internet for months on end, and my mother still cannot comprehend why that upset me so, I think it is time I just stopped kidding myself that the so-called community is anything I want to work with. I have grown tired of trying to wait for something worthwhile to take place. I have grown tired of being not listened to when I try to tell certain people that we cannot just keep carrying on with business as usual. They have already won, and it is because the passives I speak of keep handing them victory on a silver platter. This whole nonsense about taking back the puzzle piece is just the latest in a very long string of examples.

  6. Wow! I have a 16 year old autistic son and you have really opened my eyes as to the reasoning behind why the puzzle piece is so offensive. I have worn the puzzle piece symbol in the past as a way to show solidarity and support for my son but your post here has now made me reconsider what it is I am actually saying when I wear the puzzle piece. I want to thank you for making me realize that I need to be more sensitive and understanding as to how a symbol of this nature might be perceived and regarded as offensive. That is the last thing in the world I want to do! And BTW, never be ashamed of being autistic….you know how the saying goes…”They laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at them because they are all the same!”……. Different is good! 🙂

    • I fear I may have been a little less than clear in how I worded it. But being ashamed of being autistic and having external people, in this case the people who beg and plead and moan even when people like Hillary Clinton actively plot or announce genocide against us, make me ashamed to be autistic are two different things. I feel ashamed to be associated with people who want us to have only one passive, limp-wristed voice that is basically playing right into the curebies’ hands. Your comments also affirm to me what I have been trying to say to these nincompoops for months. That we need a unique symbol designed by us to put out to the public. They sit in their relatively secure “autistic” world and fail to care about the autistic people who are still struggling just to have a day or time when they are not feeling threatened. Without them actually including the group that is doing the worst of all, they will never succeed in representing us. What is the point in being part of something that fails to serve you and gives you abuse for its failure to serve you?

  7. Thank you for articulating why this campaign is misguided fluffy thinking.Please, do not let this airhead convince you to end your life, in case this is literal and not a rhetorical flourish.

    • I really wish I could say I had not thought it all through. But this is months, years, of being marginalised by everybody talking. The person in question is no airhead, but just a symptom of the overall movement’s absolute thoughtlessness towards everyone who does not bleat its collective mind back at it.

  8. I don’t believe killing yourself will have any effect on the ” puzzle piece pushers.” If you want to push back the agendas of those who claim to speak on your behalf, without even understanding you-as you say, then you have to keep doing as you have done in this posting…SPEAK FOR YOURSELF! SPEAK OUT until people learn to LISTEN to you. The different methods of protest all have levels of effectiveness, but I believe that TALKING and COMMUNICATING are often the most effective. Keep talking UNTIL EVERYONE HEARS YOU.

    • This post is a bit old and obviously generated a lot of heat when it was first posted. I think the main reason I keep it here is because it communicates something that I wish people reading this place would take seriously. When people who feel oppressed continue to speak and get nowhere from it, they will in fact start to act out more strongly. I am not sure exactly when I read the story of Thich Quang Duc and how he burned himself to death in a busy intersection during the lead-up to the Vietnam war. But I had read it again a couple of times in the days leading up to this post. It is an action I frequently contemplate emulating. If I could, I would walk right into Kevin Crudd’s office right now, tell him to go help “some more children with autism”, stick a gun in my mouth, and pull the trigger.

      In earlier days, I read a document concerning the true origins of democracy in America, and how whilst almost no natives voluntarily lived amongst the settlers, the problem of settlers running away to live among the natives was frequently remarked upon. That is what I think not only of Australia and its present government, but also of autistic individuals who think appealing to the reason of our oppressors is going to accomplish a damned thing.

  9. Thank you for addressing my grievances. I was particularly enthusiastic to see that you also share the dream of starting an autistic equivalent of the Black Panthers. I would sign on immediately. Feel free to contact me, maybe we can start this together.

Chuck shit at me here

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