I believe I mentioned it in a prior entry, but when I was last hospitalised against my will, I was prescribed with two neuro-active medications. These being Quetiapine and Fluoxetine.
I am not sure when it was, but I have since been told that at least one of them makes the user’s dreams more vivid. This is what they refer to in the trade as a side-effect. Unfortunately, as medicine currently stands, it is just about impossible to make a medicine that works on every user without inducing some form of side effect in at least a small percentage thereof. The burning sensation one gets in nerves during the introduction of anaesthesia, for example, is a classic example of a side effect. So when a medicine is designed to slowly and subtly alter the chemical workings of the Human brain, effects like making dreams more vivid are almost a given.
I am still unable to make head or tail of what I dreamed last night. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it in the sense that it was too nasty or pleasant. So no, it was not pornographic. But it was set in what looked like some sort of training room that was full of flight simulators that in turn simulated vaguely futuristic aircraft. Yeah, that is what occurs in my dreams. I watch myself play what look a lot like videogames.
Dreams are a lot like a dumping ground for the subconscious. Things that we store up in our minds during our waking hours get let out in the form of dreams as we sleep. Or so the theory goes, anyway. So it stands to reason that the introduction of an external chemical element that changes the interactions of chemicals within the brain might make one’s dreams more powerful, more vivid.
The problem, from my point of view, is that when a dream is more vivid, it is more unpleasant. This stands to reason. If most of what builds up in my brain during the day is panic, sad, and hurt, then what comes out as I sleep is going to reflect that. The aforementioned videogame dream was actually one of the more pleasant dreams I have had in the last few months. But it was also so detailed (yet vague at the same time) and loud that I just wanted it to stop.
The only reason I can think of that I would be dreaming about sitting in a room full of flight simulators amongst a group of people has to do with the belief that nobody is going to get anywhere anymore in terms of having their rights recognised until we get forceful about it. Dreaming of flying a huge armada of planes or drones against whatever normies have to throw is pretty logical from that point of view.
Truth be told, I do not believe our world is going to improve during the rest of my lifetime. Just the opposite, in fact. A novel by Harry Harrison entitled Make Room! Make Room! touches upon why. And this demonstrates the unfortunate dichotomy our world is stuck in. If a science fiction author in the 1960s can be aware that the world is running out of resources, then surely most of the ruling class can be aware, too. In truth, however, the ruling class of our world do not care.
This is only relevant here because there are always things that need getting done. Whether it is flushing distressing things out of one’s mind or making resource consumption sustainable, there are generally two options. Either we do it ourselves, or nature does it for us. And my dreams are often a nice expression of a fundamental fact about nature. We can always count on it to be crueller to us than we can expect ourselves to be.
As you might gather, there is a lot boiling within my brain that is unpleasant and hopeless. So the propensity of Fluoxetine to make my dreams more vivid is not a blessing.
But then, the search for alternatives is not yielding any results, either.
